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Thursday, 8 August 2013

Let Go

There are times when people ask me to let go and set myself free. A perfectionist, you say? No. As compared to those days, I no longer call myself a perfectionist. 

Once, I read this article on those who are born on July 17th. Being described as someone who demands a lot from herself and those people around. They live with mental conflicts. Undeniably, I demand a lot out of myself and those around in an unhealthy way, occasionally. For others, they probably just keep pushing themselves to move forward whereas for me I trap myself first before I jump out of that hole to reach what I want. Complicated, confused and I myself am not even sure of what I am talking here. 

7 months of the year have passed. 5 more months to go. Entering the career world, wake up, brush my teeth, get changed, take the train and 9 to 6pm everyday. From I knew what I wanted to I lost sights of what I want to realization to comfort zone to escape and I am going to start a new practice all over again. It frightens me a little but I promise myself to take up this challenge. 

Recently, my emotions have been pretty unstable. Thoughts running in my head and feeling restless all the time. Last week, I was tired and drained every single day with bad quality of sleep. This week, I was so energized that I think I could live with 4 hours of sleep if I wish to. It scares me a little. I am slowly getting bored of who I am and what I do everyday. You know, there is always this time when you don't want to be who you are. I picked up swimming this year May and that has been something new in my life but now that I am getting used to the routine I begin with the adrenaline rush to do random things again. 

Sometimes, things that I do hurt those around. It is hard being someone around me yet that is me. Somehow I can't seem to drop this out of my character. 

I really wonder if people can settle with what they have for those that seem to. 

Seem difficult to me.



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